The clavacles

After Friday I began a quest for a better baclava. I searched the deep dark halls of my house for many minutes before I uncovered the clava the lady bear had bestowed upon me for the chistmas. And It was perfect!

From Worthless Garbage

Then I spotted a problem.
A pom pom, the scourge of of all helmeted cold weather bipeds.

From Worthless Garbage

I rushed to my stuff drawer, frantically feeling for my shearing shears
With trembling hands I wrestled the clava to the table.

From Worthless Garbage

In one mighty squeeze I lopped off the pom pom and it tumbled to the ground.

From Worthless Garbage

Having defeated my enemy, I celebrated.

And now tenderfoot has a new hat.

From Worthless Garbage

Denied

0 degrees today. Windchill of negative balls. As in total testicular retraction. Need I say more?
I will.
The second I started pedaling to work, my nostrils froze. I could feel the mucus forming into little icicles. There is a small gap between the bottom of my pant leg and the top of my shoe (an ankle in layman's terms), which also proceeded to freeze. But the worst part was not the uncovered parts of my body. It was this.

From Worthless Garbage

Recognise me? I thought not.

This baclava is sooo hard to breath through. I was panting like a mastiff in heat going up the big hill to work. My mouth was open as wide as it could be, and I still could not get enough air. I felt like a moron trying to gasp through that damned tube of fleece.
In other news, the great Penn State University has decided I am not worthy. I have been denied. Though I am not surprised as my GPA was not stellar, I have deiced I will write and call them until they decide to reconsider. I refuse to accept their nonacceptance.