the poorly composed parting shot 3: greensburg

Michaux/ YMCA Daycamp Mash report on Monday. Wish me not destruction by the Pflug.

promiscuous nissan jukes and rotten couches

I was listening to the skatilites on Pandora and going about my rat killing watching a ball python kill a rat, when the music stopped for an ad.


We put a turbo in the Nissan Juke so you can be as promiscuous with the ladies as you are with your music!

I have a number of problems with this.

I've never met a girl that was impressed out of her pants by car, let alone a Japanese economy suv thing.

I don't appreciate that google tracks my every move on line, knows that I'm a young male, knows I like stupid looking cars, and knows that I have casual sex with my Pandora stations.

And lastly, putting a turbo in a car that looks like a retarded manatee trapped inside a Sketchers Shape-Up is not going to allow me to have "sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis."

Unless I can find a girl that's really turned on by sea-life and bad tennis shoes.

I did ride my bike yesterday, and I was going to come on here today and talk about how great it is to be a mountain biker in Western PA.

Then I ran into a branch that forced it's way up my nasal passage and made contact with my brain, killing the area that allows me to love Pennsylvania.

So here's my ride. There was a decayed couch. Yellow and orange shot gun shells. Slag heaps. An empty case of Keystone Lite. And some muddy ATV trails.

grinding the tracks

Trails in the immediate vicinity of my house are non existent. But I do live about 500 feet to the left of some railroad tracks, and there was no way I could blow a beautiful day on a road ride. So I decided to grind the tracks.

From Tracks

(almost there)

Riding along the track's fist sized gravel is wonderfully painful. There is no good way to pedal on the stuff. Its to continuous to stay out of the saddle, but to rough to stay in the saddle. So it beats the hell out of the body.

From Tracks

(does it ever end?)

I had read on mtbr that there were a system of trails connecting my home town to a neighboring one about 11 miles away. My plan was to find the trails, and possibly use them to commute some mornings. The review said "...turn right, pick a trail, and welcome to Latrobe!" This was, as Id soon discover, grossly simplified.
The first step of the journey was to ride along the tracks for about four miles to Twin Lakes Park, where I would find the supposed trails.

From Tracks

(it freaks me out when a train goes by. they're really big.)

Eventually I found a side trail and took it. And suddenly I was covered in mud. The soil stuck like wet cat litter to my wheels, shoes, and back.

From Tracks

(i had to hike up this one. its a wee bit steep)

The trails I had turned on to were all of the ATV variety. It seems like an ATV trail should make a good MTB trial, but it doesn't. Quad riders live to spin they're tires as much as possible, and climb straight up the steepest hills they can. And why wouldn't they? Its no more work for them to go up than it is to go down. But all they're spinning translates as digging on the the "trail" which becomes more of a loose, muddy, trench than a path.
On the first big down hill I came to, I crashed. Hard. I hit a big rock on the way down, and bounced right into another big rock, then was deflected off of that rock into the ground.

From Tracks

I made sure to take a picture of the bike right after the crash. I have my priorities straight. Notice the direction of the stem. My hands were still attached when it twisted like that. I think I landed on the saddle with my quad, because it started throbbing. I proceeded to ride for three more hours on it.
The next climb was hard because my leg was hurting. But eventually the trails turned into some nice single track that ran back down to the rail line. After a few wrong turns I hit the summit of this hill.

From Tracks

Once a developer knocks down all those pesky trees that is going to be a lovely view.
I rode back down the trail, made some more wrong turns, then found another set of atv tracks. The PRIVATE PROPERTY, STAY OUT, and BEWARE OF DOG signs on the sides of the trail were starting to bother me a bit, but I know for a fact that I was not on private property. People in western PA are strangely protective of their land. And well armed.
I exited the woods in a Christmas tree farm and sat down to have some pb n' j.

From Tracks

(break time for the steed.)

The next section of trail was a blast.

From Tracks

Wee!

Then at 2 1/2 hours I hit my destination. I turned back, and making all the right turns it only took me an hour to get home. In all it was a great ride.
30 minutes later I was off to work.

From Tracks

(maybe my butt was itchy)
And I still can't bend my leg. But it was worth it :D