Friday, June 24, 2011

the big trip west in the tiny gay convertible

So, I haven't really mentioned this on here, nor have I planned it very well, but Colleen and I are driving to Colorado tomorrow.

Our route is gonna look something like this:

We'll leave tomorrow night and head down to Zaleski, Ohio. I'll be hitting the dual West Virgina/ Ohio Series race Sunday morning, and hopefully I'll race fast enough to win enough money for gas. After the race, we're burning across the Mid-West as fast as the little gay convertible can carry us. I predict that I'll make it to Kansas City before I have to take a nap, and then it'll be so hot and sweaty that my legs will fuse to the leather seats.

Once we leave the Plains of Corn and Firey Misery, we'll stop in the land of pretentious-medicinal-weed-smoking-super-rich-hippies: "We're independent thinkers. It's true that we're sometimes called the "People's Republic of Boulder." The University of Colorado was founded early in Boulder's history, in 1877, and along with it came the free-thinking ways of a college town that was once touted as the "Athens of the West." The Naropa Institute, founded by Tibetan Buddhist Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, added an even more progressive element to the educational makeup of Boulder when it opened its doors in 1974. As one of the most highly educated cities in the nation, we value a diversity of perspectives — something you'll probably notice right off the bat."

Since they value a diversity of perspectives, I think I'll find some motor oil and tires to burn. The most educated city in the nation will surely understand that I need billowing black smoke in the same way they need fake meat and organic burritos.

Ah, delicious Appalachian hell-fire. It warms my soul. (picture taken half an hour south of Ohiopyle.)

Anyway, Sam claims to have a comfy futon, so we'll spend a few days in Boulder (I actually do really like it there.) But I do plan to sharpie snarky things on every "Native" bumper sticker I see.

After defacing property, my long hair and sandals will allow me to blend in with the not-actually-native population.

Once we leave Boulder, the trip details are a little fuzzy. I know we're going to Breck for the 4th of July, I know I'm dropping Colleen off at the airport on the 12th, and I know that I'm doing the Breck 100 on the 16th. In between, I'm not so sure.

Fruita, Crested Butte, and Moab are all possibilities. I might head down to Fort Collins to hang out with the Niner folks. Once Don Powers and Professor Shelmire arrive in Breck, I'll probably walk up a mountain with them. Then Don Powers will vomit everywhere.

Since I'm not going to pay to stay anywhere, and bread and peanut butter is cheap, I'm pretty free to go wherever.

And that's it. I'm going to race my bike a bunch, hang out with some cool people (not counting Sam or Don Powers. Aaron is only cool because he wears capris), and see some super beautiful country. I'm pumped. I'll be putting up words and pictures on here whenever I can find the internet.

(Since I need to be blogging more about it, I'm considering this trip part of my very loosely organized preparations for the Pisgah Mountain Stage Race.)


Anonymous said...

Lets hope your loosley structured little brain can remember that school starts Aug. 29.

De La Rosa said...

Keep on trucking. I'm living vicariously through you back in NC hoping to make it out west this Summer as well. First time reader. Found your blog in DR while on a roadtrip. Show those Pretentious CO natives what's up!