Wednesday, December 28, 2011

An open letter to Andy

I had a very enthusiastic comment from an Andy yesterday. Which was odd. I thought my last post was about as bland and noncontroversial as a post can get.

Anyway, from the man himself:

"The industry will be better off when it rids itself of whiny, self entitled little bitches like yourself, who think that because you ride a bicycle fast, people buy bikes and parts because of you. Sorry to burst your bubble. Maybe it would mean better wages for "real" shop rats if there were no more Montana Millers. I think it would." 

Andy's comment was silly enough to warrant a response.

"The industry will be better off when it rids itself"

I guess in Andy's mind the bike industry is like a big dog that needs to scooter poop around the living room and leave racers stuck to the carpet. Then the industry will get up and shake itself, finally free of those parasitic, itchy racer dingle-berries.

"whiny little bitches like yourself"

Valid. I wear small t-shirts, and I do some complaining. I whine about running into deers and breaking cars, I whine about race courses with too much gravel, I whine about people who whine too much, and I whine about Ohio. I'm not sorry about it.

"self entitled"

My friends let me sleep on their floors, give me rides to races, and occasionally feed me. Some companies have given me deals on stuff. Niner has helped me with frames, Ergon with grips, and Twin Six with metal shirts. The guys at Industry 9 have been so supportive that they get their own sentence. I'm lucky enough to work for people that are happy to see me race, and always give me time off.

But I've never demanded anything (other than a good scooter-poop on a friend's carpet from time to time.)

Sponsorships are voluntary. I'm really grateful that people feel like I'm worth it.

"who think that because you ride a bicycle fast, people buy bikes and parts because of you"

If bikes and parts 'run real good' (as they say on the craigslists), I write and talk about them. Nobody buys stuff because I ride a bicycle fast (on good days). But they might consider my experience when they're buying something. Riding a bunch and racing every weekend gives my content some credibility.

I found out about I9 wheels from reading Dicky's blog, tried a dropper post because Harlan told me to, and bought my first One9 because Dejay and Fuzzy had a funny beards. Sponsorships in action.

Or, I actually do sell the stuff I race on:

"Maybe it would mean better wages for real shop rats if there were no more Montana Millers. I think it would."

I can't help it. I need to steal from the authentic shop rats to support my lavish lifestyle.

That's right. I have a pine tree. And a platform. I though it might be excessive to level my platform with some rocks, but then I was like, 'Screw it, I'm one of the Montana Millers. I can afford to do whatever I want while the rest of the Montana Millers are out robbing dinner tables and shutting off people's heat. I'm gonna go get some rocks.' And I did.

I rent the dirt under my tent to real shop rats after I take their wages.

Next post I'll be back to ruining the bike industry with my not-so-widely-read blogging.

There's a sweet new gnar shredding machine to talk about:


Adam said...

Geez Montana, with all this blogging you do, maybe there would be better wages for REAL bloggers if you weren't hogging the whole internet.

Shred said...

I'm absolutely with Andy on this one. The bicycle industry needs to distribute the goods more deservedly. It's not fair that 99% of us have to pay for everything while the blogging/racing 1% elites get all their stuff for free. We should all ride out to Ohiopyle and occupy Montana’s tree . 'Whah! Whah! Whah! Whah!'

Jason said...

Wow, what a douche (not you, him) where is the comment, I don't see it. Jesus, if anybody whines and complains it's me.

Funny, I find myself thinking that the bike industry needs MORE people like you. But hey, that's just me. What do I know?

BTW you are sort of hogging the Internet. Don't you have a tree to sleep under or and article to write for some OTHER bike magazine. Ha!

Montana said...

Since this is my propaganda machine, I didn't publish the comment. That stuff gets sent to my email before it goes live

b said...

I agree with Andy. Especially about the whiny part. Luxurious tent living and shiny bike parts at below wholesale? You are the 1%.

Matt Pascal said...

There's nothing worse than a guy who takes himself too seriously. There are bigger fish, Andy. Go fry them instead.

But I must point out that it is not your pine tree. You don't have a pine tree. I believe it belongs to somebody named Martin.

samlikesbikes said...

I come to this has-been useless blog only when I'm bored mindless on winter break, and I click on the first link I see and its me. Honored, really. I do look skinny in that picture though.