Thursday, December 2, 2010

Yesterday morning was raining, snowing, and about 35 degrees. It was a really shitty morning. I was sure that I was going to quit being a bike courier. I was fully prepared to turn in an application to Starbucks.

I started listing the positives and negatives in my head:

-Buses. They're painted pretty colors, but the bus drivers have a sick entitlement to the road. They pass close, stop without warning, and drive fast. Obviously, I'd be on the losing end of a collision. I imagine a bus driver's penalty for hitting a cyclist is early retirement and an increased pension.

-People yelling loudly into their phones. Their voices carry for at least a full block. "I TOLD at bitch! I told her! NO LITEN TO ME, I SAID I TOLD AT BITCH!" Head ache inducing.

-Cold, wet weather.

-Slippy drain gates and other metal shit. See "busses" for why these can be bad.

-Strangulation by messenger bag. 50 pound boxes hurt. And the no matter how I load it, the corner of the box always stabs me in the small of the back. Not fun when trying to avoid busses, metal shit, and loudly yelling people who jump into the middle of the street because they're too engrossed in their conversations to see the cold, wet, and strangled bike messenger who is about to run them over.

-Pedestrians. Never look before they step into the street. Never. When they finally see me, they take evasive maneuvers. If I turn right, they jump backwards and place themselves squarely in my path. Turn left, they'll skip forward and gasp.

-Pay. This was the big one. I made about $4.50 an hour my first month. Minimum wage is $7.15.


-Free mints and other small candies from nice receptionists.

But at the end of the day I got my paycheck. I shattered the minimum wage line. So I'll keep at it. Riding a bike around (standing in elevators, walking, and sitting on my ass waiting for something to do) isn't too bad.


dicky said...

Stick with it rookie.

BTW: Boxes hurt less if you get a bag that can handle them like my Bagaboo.

It's very nice... like the Holy Grail.

Montana said...

Those look swell. My chrome bag's trendy seatbelt buckle isn't so fashionable when it's slicing into my neck.

D-Pow said...

If it wasn't so cold outside, I would wait at the corner of Grant & 5th & pelt you with donuts as you rode by. But I guess I will just stay in my warm & cozy office. Have fun out there.

SurlyRob said...

Just wait. You haven't lived until you have been juiceboxed by a busload of 10 year olds. I imagine that dpow did stuff like that in his younger years.

Montana said...

Nah, Don Powers wasn't coordinated enough to throw food until he hit 35. He's a slow bloomer.