Thursday, January 12, 2012

the singlespeed RIP9 is faster than Don Powers

After I posted the link to the singlespeed RIP9 on facespace yesterday (where people seem more willing to discuss), some friends were skeptical. 

More specifically, Don Powers was skeptical: "I can't wait to beat you while you're on that bike," he said

Don Powers never beats me. I do everything I can to crush him, because if I don't he'll shout his tale of conquest in a loop for a three-hour car ride, then post about it on the internet until the next race he loses. 

"I'm Dahn Pahrs and Dahn Pahrs does what Dahn Pahrs does to win becasue Dahn Pahrs is the best. I'm old. Dahn Pahrs!" 

Imagine listening to that for hours and hours. It's awful. Fortunately, I don't have to hear it very often, because like I said, I don't lose to Don Powers. I told him he would not be beating me.

Which made him bring up my last two races, where I lost to Don Powers. Both times. 

"Fact 1 - That tensioner will fail within 5 races. Fact 2 - I'm on a two race win streak against you," he said.

Feeling backed into a corner, I turned to the debating skills that I've picked up from watching Fox News. If you can't challenge their ideas or prove their facts inaccurate, derail the conversation by calling them a name.

"Fact 3 - You're a Neanderthal," I said.

But he turned my tactic against me by calling me a name, then adding another fact. "Fact 4 - You're a hobbit who is upset about facts 1 and 2," he said.

Shit. He had me. I had to end the conversation quickly and get out of there. "Fact 5 - I shaved my toes last week," I said.

No response to that. I guess that means I win.


aaron said...

While this is my favorite blog post of yours thus far, I'm disappointed that it became a rehash of a facebook conversation that I was part of.

Montana said...

Actually, it started as a rehash of a facebook conversation. Rehashes are cheap and easy. I'm cheap and easy.

Jason said...

Anytime you write of Dahn I am sucked in. Rehash all you want, I'm sure I'll still laugh.